Authors' note: Here's an issue I've been thinking about the last while. Feel free to retain your opinion on the subject. Please do not be offended by the harsh tone; I think I make my point better this way. For this reason I've also used the first person terminology.
. . .
In the last few years I've been hearing it more and more. It's the argument of Honesty. Of Openness.
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You tell me you're being honest with yourself. You say: "If I feel a certain way or if I want a certain thing, I should have no problem being open about it". Sounds like a nice way to live a life, no?
I say not. Though there may be good aspects to such an openness, it has a major flaw. Namely, it leaves the decision of right and wrong to the individual. People like you say "I must be open with myself; if I want it I must be able to have it".
As humans, Jews, and believers, we ought to know that our wants are not necessarily in tune with the truth. We were given an incomplete nature to work with, and our job is to tame it. It follows therefore, that if you desire a certain thing, you must first be sure it is a correct desire before you pursue it. If you then do it anyways you should at least be open enough not to call it 'Honesty'.
Moreover, there is a limit to this 'Honesty'. There is a boundary somewhere that you won't pass, saying: "I know I want to do this, but I can't. I just can't." Tell me now, what happens to your 'Honesty' then? If you want it, why can't you bring yourself to have it?
No; everyone has a standard. It differs only in that some of us want an easier time, so we say that some things "I'll accept of myself doing, because I'm honest". Is that Honesty? Is that Openness?You're just too lazy to work hard! Living a truly honest life is about always raising your standard, not lowering it.
Don't get me wrong. I've done wrong in the past, and will do again in the future. But since I'm raising my standard, I'll be (rightly) embarrassed of things I did that don't rise up to it. This is a good form of 'Dishonesty'.
So go ahead; be honest. Don't let your own desires get in your way. Look objectively and realize that you were created to improve yourself.
I see what you mean. The way I see it is: be completely honest with what you're open about, but be conservative w/ what you're open about. Of course, you know i always say that I am what I do and if people don't like what I do then they wont like me.
ReplyDeleteand of course there's plenty that i do that i shouldn't be doing which reflects who i am.
so i should change some of the things i do and in turn change what i am.
"Don't get me wrong. I've done wrong in the past, and will do again in the future."
ReplyDeleteU'Mi shechata... chata chata chata chata
chatasi v'chatasi od
has a snaggish ring to it if I remember elul farbrengens.
Don't be so grim.
Though I agree with the general content and premise of your article.
Staples - I agree. It annoys me that people tend to excuse their behavior with the 'honesty' stuff. I myself used to do the same. I'd say to be honest to yourself but conservative to others to a certain extent.
ReplyDeleteFeivel - It's good to hear that your listening to the Farbis. I mean it. But when I say I will do wrong again I'm being realistic about myself. Call me what you want for it, though.
I'm not calling you anything.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't make bad predictions even if they are realistic. Better to just say in the future I will try to better, and even if I will make a mistake, I will still try to do better!