Thanks, Cuz

 
   By a family Simcha a while back, I wandered outside the hall for some fresh air. Amidst the pseudo-smiling faces of the chatting women and several strollers, was my first cousin, some twenty years my senior. Holding her baby of several months as deftly as only a Shlucha could, she approached me.

   "Are you  ----?", she asked, calling me by my first name. "Yes, that's me", I replied with somewhat of a shy smile. (Let's just say I'm not famous for my small talk abilities...) "Oh", she said as she started what seemed to be a oft-repeated mantra: "I remember you! I flew in to help your mother when you were born..."

   Being that other than that tidbit we haven't much in common, the conversation ended soon afterward. (She must have also gone through the "Wow, you've grown so much since I've seen you last" stuff too, but I don't remember.) However, the casual recital of the sentence gave rise in my mind to several questions, which I shall now transcribe:

   What exactly do I owe you now that I know this? Do you want me to help you out next time?

   Is this a polite form of robbing me of my self-worth?

   Is there any way I can make amends for making you change my diaper?

   Do you think now that anything I'll do is to your credit, or can I take some of it for myself?

   Now, dear reader, please don't misinterpret me to mean I bear a grudge against this cousin of mine. I don't blame her for feeling impelled to reveal to me this rather unimportant fact. But just remember: there can be many implications to a simple statement, including ones you may not want there to be. Thankfully this time those implications exhibited themselves in a rather humorous way...